{"id":7798,"date":"2016-01-24T03:00:22","date_gmt":"2016-01-24T01:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ph.yhb.org.il\/en\/?p=7798"},"modified":"2016-07-28T17:10:11","modified_gmt":"2016-07-28T14:10:11","slug":"01-24-03","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ph.yhb.org.il\/en\/01-24-03\/","title":{"rendered":"03. Who Is Obligated to Educate and Object?<\/h2>"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>According to some, the obligation of <em>\u0125inukh<\/em> devolves equally upon the father and mother (<em>Terumat Ha-deshen<\/em>). However, most <em>poskim<\/em> maintain that only the father is obligated to train children to do <em>mitzvot<\/em>, that is, objecting when they transgress negative commandments and requiring them to perform positive commandments. This is an extension of the obligation to teach them Torah, which also devolves upon the father. Despite this, it is clear that the mother has a general mitzva to educate her children about Torah and <em>mitzvot<\/em>; the general commandment to love one\u2019s fellow and the demand for truth obligate every mother to educate her children to cling to the holy Torah and observe its commandments. What is incumbent upon the father alone is the responsibility to meticulously educate about Torah and <em>mitzvot<\/em> (Ri; Maharam; <em>Hagahot Maimoniyot<\/em>). If no father is present, whether due to death or absence, then the mother is obligated to teach her children meticulously about the Torah and mitzva observance (<em>Eliya Rabba<\/em> 640:4; <em>Kaf Ha-\u0125ayim<\/em> 343:9).<\/p>\n<p>Thus, if a child who has reached the age of <em>\u0125inukh<\/em> (about six or seven) is involved in a game and does not want to come to hear <em>kiddush<\/em> or <em>havdala<\/em> or recite <em>Birkat Ha-mazon<\/em>, the father must insist, so as to educate him properly. However, the mother may occasionally ignore such breaches in order to maintain a pleasant atmosphere in the home. If the father has passed away or is absent, the mother must take his place and insist that her children become habituated to keeping the <em>mitzvot<\/em>.<sup><a id=\"_ze05ftnref24_1\" class=\"aup1\" href=\"#_ze05ftn24_1\">[1]<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n<p>When parents neglect to educate their children and do not stop them from violating Torah law, the local <em>beit din<\/em> or public representatives who are responsible for local education must admonish the father. However, if the parents are negligent in educating their children about rabbinic obligations, there is no need to admonish the father.<\/p>\n<p>The <em>poskim<\/em> disagree regarding what an adult must do if he sees someone else\u2019s child of educable age (six or seven) desecrate Shabbat or eat forbidden foods. Some maintain that the obligation to educate children is the sole responsibility of the father, and nobody else is obligated to prevent them from sinning (Rambam; SA 343:1). Others maintain that all Jews are obligated to prevent children of educable age from transgressing (<em>Tosafot<\/em>; Rosh; Rema). Practically speaking, several A\u0125aronim rule that if an adult sees any child transgressing a Torah prohibition \u2013 such as turning on a light or washing his clothes on Shabbat, or eating foods prohibited by Torah law \u2013 he must stop him. However, if one sees a child transgressing a rabbinic prohibition \u2013 such as eating chicken with milk, or playing with <em>muktzeh<\/em> items on Shabbat \u2013 he does not need to stop him (<em>\u0124ayei Adam<\/em>; MB 343:7). It would seem that if a minor repeatedly transgresses the same prohibition, even if it is rabbinic, it is proper to inform his parents.<\/p>\n<p>If a minor is in danger of harming someone or damaging property, one must stop him in order to prevent the harm or damage. This law is derived from the mitzva to return a lost object to its owner: \u201cIf you see your fellow\u2019s ox or sheep gone astray, do not ignore it\u2026restore it to him\u201d (Devarim 22:2). If there is a mitzva to return another\u2019s lost item, there is certainly a mitzva to prevent damage to his property. Similarly, we are told: \u201cDo not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor\u201d (Vayikra 19:16). According to the Sages, the mitzva of saving someone\u2019s property is included in this mitzva (<em>Sifra<\/em>).<\/p>\n<p>We must stress that the mitzva of <em>\u0125inukh<\/em> must be done in such a way that the child will be receptive. Therefore, one should not force a child to begin keeping all the <em>mitzvot<\/em> and saying all the prayers properly at the age of six or seven. A child\u2019s early years are meant to allow him to get used to praying and keeping <em>mitzvot<\/em>. This way, by the time children reach halakhic maturity at the age of bar or bat mitzva, they will be capable of keeping all the <em>mitzvot<\/em> properly.<\/p>\n<div>\n<hr size=\"1\" \/>\n<div><a id=\"_ze05ftn24_1\" href=\"#_ze05ftnref24_1\">[1]<\/a>. All agree that a mother must educate her children about Torah and <em>mitzvot<\/em>. Part of the mitzva of \u201cLove your fellow as yourself (<em>Ve-ahavta le-re\u2019akha kamokha<\/em>)\u201d (Vayikra 19:18) is enabling one\u2019s child to benefit from engaging in Torah and <em>mitzvot<\/em>. The mother is also obligated on account of \u201cReprove your friend (<em>Hokhe\u2019a\u0125 tokhi\u2019a\u0125 et amitekha<\/em>)\u201d (<em>ibid<\/em>. v. 17). Elaborating on this, the Sages tell us: \u201cIf one is able to object to the members of his household sinning but does not do so, he is held responsible for their sin\u201d (<em>Shabbat<\/em> 54b). Nevertheless, the Torah tasked the father with the specific obligation to teach children Torah. If he does not wish to do so, the rabbinic courts can force him to pay for the education of his sons (SA YD 245:4). If he has no money to do so, he must sell his clothing or seek charity. The mother has no such obligation. Since the father is obligated to teach the children Torah, he is also obligated to make sure that they observe the <em>mitzvot<\/em> with precision. Thus, the father has a more demanding role \u2013 educating toward exacting mitzva observance \u2013 while the mother has a more general job \u2013 establishing a positive relationship between the children and Torah and <em>mitzvot<\/em>. This is the meaning of the verse: \u201cMy son, heed the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the instruction of your mother\u201d (Mishlei 1:8). The Vilna Gaon (on Mishlei 20:20) writes similarly: \u201cThe son is taught Torah by his father. His mother guides him to do <em>mitzvot<\/em> and walk a straight path\u201d (see <em>Berakhot<\/em> 17a). However, if the father is not present, the mother must take his place, dealing with <em>\u0125inukh<\/em> in order to fulfill <em>Ve-ahavta le-re\u2019akha kamokha<\/em>, <em>tzedaka<\/em>, and <em>Hokhe\u2019a\u0125 tokhi\u2019a\u0125 et amitekha<\/em>. (See <em>Eliya Rabba<\/em> 640:4; <em>Kaf ha-\u0125ayim<\/em> 343:9.) In some families, it is easier for the mother to be the demanding parent, while it is more difficult for the father. In such cases, it is a mitzva for the mother to take over the role of educating toward exacting mitzva observance.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>According to some, the obligation of \u0125inukh devolves equally upon the father and mother (Terumat Ha-deshen). However, most poskim maintain that only the father is obligated to train children to do mitzvot, that is, objecting when they transgress negative commandments and requiring them to perform positive commandments. This is an extension of the obligation to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-01-24"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>03. Who Is Obligated to Educate and Object? - Peninei Halakha<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ph.yhb.org.il\/en\/01-24-03\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"03. 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