{"id":9498,"date":"2014-09-01T01:00:48","date_gmt":"2014-08-31T22:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ph.yhb.org.il\/en\/?p=9498"},"modified":"2019-11-21T09:30:58","modified_gmt":"2019-11-21T07:30:58","slug":"14-01-01","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ph.yhb.org.il\/en\/14-01-01\/","title":{"rendered":"01. The Importance of the Mitzva"},"content":{"rendered":"

A complete person is one who lives in a joyful and loving marriage. A man is not complete without his wife, and a woman is not complete without her husband. The essence of their union is expressed through the mitzva of ona<\/em> (marital sexual relations), through which they become completely united, in body and spirit, making their marriage whole. The mitzva must be fulfilled with passion and ecstasy, the husband trying to bring his wife as much joy and pleasure as possible, and the wife trying to bring her husband as much joy and pleasure as possible (below, 2:1-5). For this reason, the mitzva is referred to as sim\u1e25at ona<\/em>, the joy of marital sexual relations. There is no greater joy in this world; it is a foretaste of the euphoria of the World to Come (below, 1:7-8).<\/p>\n

Through the framework of marriage, a person can achieve the ultimate fulfillment of the mitzva to \u201clove your fellow as yourself\u201d (Vayikra 19:18), which R. Akiva calls \u201ca major principle of the Torah\u201d (Sifra<\/em> ad loc<\/em>.). It is only between spouses that love is expressed in all aspects of life, spiritual and physical alike. Thus, when a married couple lives together lovingly, each loving the other no less than they love themselves and desiring to bring joy to the other no less than they want for themselves, they fulfill the entire Torah in a concentrated form (Arizal, Sefer Ha-likutim<\/em>, Ekev).<\/p>\n

So powerful is the mitzva of ona<\/em> that its fulfillment brings the Shekhina<\/em> (Divine Presence) to dwell with the couple. As R. Akiva expounds: \u201cIf husband and wife are worthy, the Shekhina<\/em> is with them; if they are not, fire consumes them\u201d (Sota<\/em> 17a).[1]<\/a><\/sup> Moreover, it is through this sacred mitzva that the couple can fulfill the mitzva of procreation (pru u-revu<\/em>), which makes them God\u2019s partners in the creation of a new life. As the Sages said, \u201cThere are three partners in the creation of a person: God, the father, and the mother\u201d (Nidda<\/em> 31a).<\/p>\n

When a marriage founders because the husband suspects the wife of infidelity, the Torah prescribes (Bamidbar 5:11-31) the \u201csota<\/em>\u201d procedure, which includes writing God\u2019s name on parchment and placing it in a potion that is administered to the wife. Under normal circumstances, erasing God\u2019s name is a grave transgression, yet God commands us to erase His sacred name in order to repair and bring peace to a marriage (Nedarim<\/em> 66b). Indeed, erasing the written name of God allows His name to inhere in their marital life.<\/p>\n

Marriage is so paramount that the Sages say, \u201cAny man without a wife is not considered a man\u201d (Yevamot<\/em> 63a); and \u201cAny man without a wife lives without joy, without blessing, without goodness, without Torah, without fortification, and without peace\u201d (ibid<\/em>. 62b). A woman without a husband lacks all these as well. And since the mitzva of ona<\/em> is the fundamental expression of a marriage, all of these advantages are thus directly connected to this mitzva (below, 4:8).<\/p>\n

Since the foundation of the relationship between husband and wife is so important, the drive associated with it is likewise exceptionally powerful. God has given people freedom of choice: when a person directs the sex drive positively, toward the proper fulfillment of the mitzva of ona<\/em>, there is nothing greater; when it is channeled negatively, there is nothing worse (below, 3:1-2).<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n[1]<\/a>. The Hebrew word for man or husband, \u201cish<\/em>,\u201d is made up of the letters alef<\/em> and shin<\/em> \u2013 the word for fire, \u201cesh<\/em>\u201d \u2013 plus the letter yud<\/em>. The Hebrew word for woman or wife, \u201cisha<\/em>,\u201d is made up of the letters alef<\/em> and shin<\/em> plus the letter hei<\/em>. The two letters yud<\/em> and hei<\/em> form the name of God. Thus, if God is removed from ish<\/em> and isha<\/em>, only fire remains. They couple also reveals God\u2019s holy four-letter name (yud-hei-vav-hei<\/em>; the Tetragrammaton) thereby, for in addition to the revelation of yud<\/em> through the man and hei<\/em> through the woman, and the last two letters are revealed through their children \u2013 vav<\/em> through a son and hei<\/em> through a daughter (Zohar<\/em>, Ra\u2019aya Mehemna<\/em> III 34b).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A complete person is one who lives in a joyful and loving marriage. A man is not complete without his wife, and a woman is not complete without her husband. The essence of their union is expressed through the mitzva of ona (marital sexual relations), through which they become completely united, in body and spirit, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[154],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-14-01"],"yoast_head":"\n01. 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