06. Parashat Zakhor

The poskim disagree about whether women must hear Parashat Zakhor. According to most poskim, women are exempt because the mitzva to remember what Amalek did is linked to the mitzva to eradicate Amalek, and since women are not commanded to fight in wars, they need not remember what Amalek did to the Israelites (Sefer Ha-Ĥinukh §603). Others maintain that women have a connection to the mitzva of war since they must assist the fighters, and therefore the mitzva to remember Amalek applies to them too. Although the Sages ordained a specific time to read Parashat Zakhor – the Shabbat before Purim – according to the Torah it has no set time. Since hence it not a time-bound mitzva it applies to women as well (Minĥat Ĥinukh ad loc.).

In practice, according to most poskim women are exempt from hearing Parashat Zakhor; however, le-khatĥila it is preferable that she hears it in order to satisfy all opinions. A woman who has difficulty getting to the synagogue but still wishes to fulfill the mitzva should recite the passage from a ĥumash, since according to many one thus fulfills the biblical obligation to remember. In a place where a Torah class is held for women in the synagogue, it is permissible to take out a Torah scroll to read them Parashat Zakhor. Even though there is no minyan present, it is still preferable that they hear the passage from a kosher Torah scroll. ¹

07. Purim

Women are obligated in all four mitzvot of Purim – reading the megilla, mishlo’aĥ manot (sending gifts of food to a friend), matanot le-evyonim (gifts to the poor), and a festive meal.

Mishlo’aĥ manot is fulfilled by giving two portions to one person. Matanot le-evyonim is fulfilled by giving two poor people two gifts each. Married women are obligated in these two mitzvot, so a married couple bust give mishlo’aĥ manot to two different people, one from the husband and one from the wife. Likewise, together they must give matanot le-evyonim to four poor people, two from the husband and two from the wife (MB 795:25). Nevertheless, some poskim say that a couple fulfills the mitzva jointly, by giving one mishlo’aĥ manot and two matanot le-evyonim. Even according to this opinion, however, adult sons and daughters do not fulfill their obligation through their parents (AHS 794:2). Halakhic practice follows the majority opinion, and even married women must give mishlo’aĥ manot and matanot le-evyonim of her own (see Peninei Halakha: Zemanim 16:6).

Women are obligated to rejoice on Purim by drinking wine. However, they should take care not to get drunk, since drunkenness is more shameful for women than for men and constitutes a breach of tzni’ut, a trait for which women are praised (Ketubot 65a; Peninei Halakha: Zemanim 16:11).

Concerning the custom of giving tzedaka before Purim to commemorate the half-shekel that was contributed to the Temple while it stood, some poskim exempt women whereas others obligate them. The common custom today is to give at least a half-shekel for each member of a household, even a fetus (Peninei Halakha: Zemanim 14:10).

08. Women and Megilla Reading

According to Rashi and Rambam, women and men are equally obligated in the mitzva to read the megilla, and a woman may read the megilla for her husband. In contrast, Behag and Rabbeinu Ĥananel maintain that women’s obligation differs from that of men: men must read the megilla, whereas women must hear it. Therefore, a man who reads the megilla recites the berakha “al mikra megilla” (“concerning the reading of the megilla”) and a woman who reads for herself recites “lishmo’a megilla” (“to hear the megilla”). According to this opinion, a man does not fulfill his obligation with his wife’s reading. Responsa Avnei Nezer (OĤ 511) explains that this difference stems from the fact that women must hear the megilla only in order to publicize the miracle, and therefore their obligation is only in hearing the megilla and not reading it. In contrast, men are commanded to publicize the miracle and also to remember Amalek to wipe him out ultimately. Therefore, men are commanded to read the megilla. ¹

Since the Rishonim are evenly split on this issue, most Aĥaronim rule that a woman may not read the megilla on a man’s behalf except in extenuating circumstances, when it is not possible for the man to read for himself or hear it from another man. In that case, at least he will fulfill the mitzva according to the opinion that a woman may read on a man’s behalf. ²

According to the vast majority of poskim, a woman may read on behalf of other women. Some say that a woman cannot fulfill the obligation on behalf of many women, since megilla reading has a status similar to Torah reading, and just as a woman does not read from the Torah, so too she does not read the megilla for many women. Some poskim say that when the megilla is read for women no berakha is recited (Ben Ish Ĥai, year 1, Teztaveh 1; Kaf Ha-ĥayim 689:19). However, halakhic practice follows the overwhelming majority of poskim who maintain that a woman may read on behalf of other women and that if the group is comprised of ten women, the reader recites the berakha of “Ha-rav et riveinu” (“Who fights our battles”) after the megilla. However, le-khatĥila, it is preferable that women hear the Megilla read by a man,  to satisfy all opinions. Ideally, women would hear the megilla in the synagogue with men, since “In a multitude of people is a King’s glory.” ³

09. Seder Night

Women are obligated to perform all the mitzvot of the Seder night – retelling the Exodus from Egypt, eating matza and maror, drinking four cups of wine, and reciting Hallel – for they too participated in that miracle (Pesaĥim 108b; SA 472:14; MB 479:9; see earlier in this chapter, section 4). This is only yearly occasion when women are required to recite Hallel (Tosafot, Sukka 38a). ¹

Le-khatĥila, women must recline while eating matza and drinking the four cups of wine, but if they forget they need not repeat it. It is best that important women (“nashim ĥashuvot”) who forgot to recline while eating matza repeat the mitzva while reclining. ²

10. Counting the Omer

Women are exempt from the mitzva of counting the omer, for it is a positive time-bound mitzva. If a woman wishes to fulfill this mitzva, it is a credit to her. As we have learned (above 2:8), according to Sephardic custom she does not recite the berakha, but according to Ashkenazic custom she may recite it.

However, even within Ashkenazic custom, some poskim are worried that since women are not present in the synagogue at the time of the counting of the omer, there is a reasonable concern that she will forget to count one day without realizing it and then continue counting with a berakha. According to halakha, one who forgets to count one day may not continue counting with a berakha, and if she does, according to some, it is considered a berakha le-vatala. To avoid this problematic situation, some say that even according to Ashkenazic custom it is best that women do not recite a berakha on this mitzva (MB 489:5). Others say that women should not count the omer for kabbalistic reasons (Rav Pe’alim, vol 1, Sod Yesharim 12). In contrast, some say that Ashkenazic custom is that women count the omer (MA 489:1). Therefore, according to Ashkenazic custom, whoever knows that she will be able to complete the entire count and that she may not recite a berakha anymore if she forgets, may recite a berakha. In particular, this pertains to women who regularly pray Ma’ariv or who are reminded to count the omer daily at home, as there is minimal concern that she will forget to count the omer. If there is a reasonable concern that she will forget to count one day, it is preferable that she not count with a berakha.

11. Birkat Ha-ilanot – The Blessing on the Trees

One who goes outside during Nisan and sees fruit trees blossoming recites Birkat Ha-ilanot, a berakha that expresses gratitude to God “Who let nothing lack in His world and Who created in it good creatures and good trees to bring people pleasure” (SA 225:1). Even though this berakha is connected to the month of Nisan, the poskim explain that this is not a time-bound obligation because according to most it is permissible to recite this berakha upon seeing blossoms even in a different month. Even according to those who maintain that this berakha may only be recited in Nisan, it is not because Nisan is defined as the time for making the berakha but because it is when blossoms appear. The berakha is dependent on the appearance of blossoms, not on a particular time. Therefore, it is proper for women to recite this berakha as well.

01. Differences in Nusaĥ

Following their exile and dispersion, Jews of different communities developed varying prayer rites. The fundamentals of prayer – the elements instituted by the Men of the Great Assembly – such as Birkhot Keri’at Shema and the Amida, the differences are very slight. Even the primary elements of Korbanot and Pesukei De-zimra, which were established during the time of the Talmud and the Ge’onim, have only minor variations. The modifications are more noticeable, however, in the additions that accreted during the period of the Rishonim, such as in the full routine of Korbanot and in the concluding sections of the prayer service, differ greatly from one community to the next. What was added to the Sephardic liturgy was not necessarily accepted in Ashkenaz, and vice versa. This is especially apparent with regard to the liturgical poems composed during the time of the Ge’onim and Rishonim and which were incorporated into the prayer service of the Days of Awe and festivals. Hence, we find major differences between the different prayer rites when it comes to the liturgical poems recited on the Days of Awe.

There are also differences between various ethnic communities when it comes to pronunciation of both Hebrew consonants like tzadi and kuf and vowels like kamatz and ĥolam. It is best that every Jew continue in her family’s custom, for every extant Jewish tradition for pronunciation is valid for prayer (Igrot Moshe OĤ 3:5; additionally, even the formula of the ĥalitza ceremony, in which, according to all opinions, every letter must be enunciated, any community’s pronunciation scheme is valid).

Arizal explains the different prayer rites with a tradition that the heavens have twelve portals, corresponding to the twelve tribes of Israel. The prayers of each tribe ascended through its unique portal. This is the esoteric meaning of the twelve gates mentioned at the end of the book of Yeĥezkel (Sha’ar Ha-kavanot p. 50, 4). This is the practical halakha as well: every Jew must follow the custom of her forebears (MA 68:1; MB 68:4; below we will learn of the cases in which one may change one’s nusaĥ).

02. No Nusaĥ should be Considered Better than Another

Ĥida writes in the name of Arizal that prayer recited the Sephardic nusaĥ ascends through any of the twelve gates. Therefore, in his opinion, Ashkenazim may switch to the Sephardic nusaĥ (see Yabi’a Omer 6:10; Yeĥaveh Da’at 3:6). In contrast, Ĥasidim claim that their nusaĥ (called “Nusaĥ Sepharad” even though it was developed as the liturgy of Eastern European Ĥasidic communities and was not practiced in Sephardic communities) is superior. They maintain that the greatest Ĥasidim investigated and examined numerous versions of the liturgy based on kabbalistic meanings and halakhic considerations and and selected the best among them. The Yemenites, too, claim that their nusaĥ is most precise, for the Jews of Yemen, in all their years of exile, did not wander. Rather, in response to Arab persecution of Yemenite Jews, these communities intensified their dogged and meticulous preservation of their customs. Indeed, Yemenite Torah have been found to be closest in their precision to the Aleppo Codex, the standard of precision for the Torah text. Of course, those who pray in the Ashkenazic nusaĥ also assert that their custom is the most meticulous, transmitted from person to person as far back as Shimon Ha-Pekuli. Furthermore, the basis for Sephardic custom lies with the Amora’im and Ge’onim of Babylonia, whereas Ashkenazic custom originates with the Amora’im and Ge’onim of Eretz Yisrael, who were more proficient in aggada, esoteric wisdom, and liturgy. Incidentally, the reason for certain similarities between the Ashkenazic and the original Yemenite nusaĥ (Baladi), is that both were influenced by the Ge’onim of Eretz Yisrael.

In general, every rite has advantages, and it is not in our power to determine which one is superior. As states in Responsa Ĥatam Sofer (1:15), every nusaĥ is equal, and the fact that Arizal offered mystical interpretations of Nusaĥ Sephard is because he was accustomed to praying in that nusaĥ. Had he been accustomed to praying in the Ashkenazic Nusaĥ, he would have composed mystical kavanot for that rite.

Even if we were to know that a particular custom is more precise, it would still be proper for everyone to continue practicing their received customs, for continuing ancestral traditions is a strong basis for faith. Moreover, even less accurate rites certainly have specific points in their favor that we must be careful to preserve. Only after the Sanhedrin is established will we be able to institute a uniform nusaĥ, which will incorporate the benefits of each nusaĥ. Yet even then, there will be room for different emphases in supplementary prayers and distinct melodies, corresponding to the twelve gates; each community according to its ways.

03. Immigrants and Communities That Migrated

In the past, when the distance between communities was great, Ashkenazim lived in Ashkenaz (Germany), Sephardim in Sepharad (Iberia), and Yemenites in Yemen. Anyone who moved elsewhere would adopt the halakhic and liturgical customs of the new locale, since it is important that every individual community have a uniform custom and avoid the sort of factionalism that constitutes the prohibition of “lo titgodedu” (Devarim 14:1; the verse literally prohibits cutting oneself in mourning for the dead, but the Sages [Yevamot 13b] interpreted the prohibition to include becoming fragmented into different factions [“agudot agudot”]). As the Sages teach, this prohibition mandates that a single rabbinical court may not have some judges who follow the rulings of Beit Shammai and others who follow the rulings of Beit Hillel, so that the Torah is not made into two Torahs (ibid. 14a, according to Rif and Rosh).

Thus, immigrants would adopt fixed local customs. This is why we find people with the name “Ashkenazi” – denoting German origins – following Sephardic custom and families with the name “Frank” – indicating Sephardic origins – following Ashkenazic practice.

Even if, over time, immigrants become the majority of a given community, as long as they arrived as individuals, they assimilate into the existing community and must practice according to its customs (SA YD 214:2; OĤ 468:4; MB 14). In fact, it is possible that most Ashkenazim descend from Sephardic immigrants.

When an entire community migrates, it remains an independent community and does not become subsumed into the local community. Its members need not change their customs (BHL 468:4). Even if the pre-existing community constitutes the majority, as long as the newcomers associate as an independent community, they should continue practicing their initial customs. This applies to Eretz Yisrael, where, by the grace of God, the Ingatherer of scattered Jews, entire communities, led by Torah scholars, have migrated in recent centuries. Because they arrived as full-fledged communities, they were not assimilated into pre-existing communities, so they established synagogues to preserve their customs.

One who must pray regularly in a minyan conducted in a different nusaĥ – for example, one who moves to a place where the only minyan prays in a different nusaĥ – may decide how to act. One option is that she prays in the nusaĥ of that minyan whenever she prays with it. The second option is that she adheres to her ancestral nusaĥ while reciting those parts of the service that are said aloud in the custom of that congregation.

When one who habitually prays in one nusaĥ attends a minyan that prays in another nusaĥ on an occasional basis, the accepted ruling is that all passages recited aloud are prayed in the local nusaĥ, and all silent passages are recited in one’s ancestral nusaĥ (Peninei Halakha: Prayer 6:5).

04. The Status of a Woman who Married a Man from a Different Community

The status of a woman who married a man from a different ethnic community is similar to that of one who migrates to a place where local custom differs from what he is accustomed to: if he intends to live there forever, he must cease practicing his earlier customs and accept the local custom (based on SA YD 214:2; OĤ 468:4; MB 14). Likewise, a woman who marries a member of a different ethnic community is considered to be moving into his home permanently, and she must adopt his customs. For instance, if the custom of her husband’s community is to eat kitniyot on Pesaĥ, she eats them too, and if it is not to eat them, she may not. If they wait six hours between meat and milk, she waits six, and if they wait an hour, she waits an hour. As R. Shimon b. Tzemaĥ Duran (Tashbetz 3:179) writes, it is inconceivable that they regularly eat at the same table, and what is permitted to one is forbidden to the other. Therefore, a woman must follow her husband’s customs, for one’s wife is like himself.

A widow who had a child from her husband continues to follow her late husband’s customs. However, if they did not have children, she returns to her ancestral customs. ¹

Similarly, a woman must recite prayers and berakhot according to her husband’s nusaĥ, so that there will not be two different sets of customs in the same household. However, if it does not upset her husband, and it is difficult for her to change her nusaĥ, she may continue praying silently in her own nusaĥ, but she may not pray or recite a berakha aloud in a nusaĥ other than that of her husband. When her children reach the age of education, she must teach them to pray in her husband’s nusaĥ. Therefore, even if her husband agrees that she may praying and recite berakhot in the nusaĥ to which she is accustomed, when her children reach the age of education she should preferably switch to her husband’s nusaĥ so that it is easier for her to teach her children how to recite prayers and berakhot. ²

05. In What Cases may one Change her Nusaĥ?

As we have learned, one must maintain her ancestral custom. The Sages based this statement on the verse, “Al titosh torat imekha” (“Do not abandon your mother’s teachings”; Mishlei 1:8). However, custom is not more important than other laws, and therefore it is occasionally superseded. For example, if one knows for certain that she will have less kavana praying in a synagogue that conducts services in her ancestral nusaĥ than in a synagogue where services are conducted in a different nusaĥ, she should choose the place more conducive to kavana, for this is the essence of prayer (Peninei Halakha: Prayer, ch. 6 n. 2). However, in a case of uncertainty, she should preferably pray in her ancestral nusaĥ, because in the long term it seems that she will have more kavana praying in this way. Sometimes young people do not properly value their connections to ancestral nusaĥ but discover deep attachment to it over time and regret having changed it.

If one has a choice of two synagogues, one where prayer is conducted in her ancestral nusaĥ but where there are no Torah classes, and another that provides Torah study but conducts prayers in a different nusaĥ, she should evaluate the situation as follows: If she estimates that praying in the synagogue with more Torah classes will lead her to greater Torah study, it is better that she pray there even though the service is not conducted in her ancestral nusaĥ; despite the importance of preserving customs, Torah study is of paramount importance. Likewise, when choosing a yeshiva or other learning environment, one should not base the decision on the nusaĥ of the prayers there. Rather, she should choose the institution that will best teach her Torah, character, and mitzvot.

If one has a choice between two synagogues, one where the congregation prays in her ancestral nusaĥ but where she is concerned that she will not be able to connect with its congregants, whether because they are too old, too young, too few in number, or any other reason, and another where they do not pray in her family’s nusaĥ but there is a stronger community where she can better connect to the congregants, she must make a judgment. If she feels that praying in the latter synagogue will strengthen her connection to the Jewish religious community and raise or at least sustain her spiritual level, she should pray there, even though they do not pray in her ancestral nusaĥ. ¹

06. Preserving Customs vs. Strengthening the Community

In addition to maintaining the nusaĥ of prayer, preservation of customs entails upholding traditional pronunciation schemes. Each community – Yemenites, Sephardim, and Ashkenazim – pronounces the prayers according to its own particular scheme. Indeed, each ethnic community should ideally continue to pray with its traditional chants (see Rema 619:1). Of course, it is allowed to introduce new melodies, but the upshot of this ruling is that the main part of the prayer should preserve the traditional tune that was sanctified over the course of generations. For that reason, one must ideally pray in a synagogue that uses his ancestral nusaĥ (Peninei Halakha: Prayer, ch. 6 n. 5).

Judaism contains a great variety of different customs. The Sephardic nusaĥ itself breaks down into numerous different sets of customs. Concerning matters of halakha, the key differences are between those who follow Shulĥan Arukh and those who follow Ben Ish Ĥai. Moreover, North Africans have their own distinct nusaĥ that is quite similar to the Syrian and Iraqi rites in terms of halakha and liturgical text but differs greatly in terms of the traditional chants and tunes. Even among North Africans there are differences in melody. To Moroccans, Algerians sound dissonant, and vice versa. To Libyans, both Algerians and Moroccans sound off. To perfectly preserve customs, there would need to be special synagogues for Libyans, Tunisians, Algerians, and Moroccans in addition to those for Iraqi, Syrian, Farsi, Turkish, and Caucasian Jews.

Ashkenazim also have a variety of customs. The main difference is between Ĥasidim and other Ashkenazim, but there are other significant differences in pronunciation and melody between Western Europeans and Lithuanians. Regarding pronunciation, there are at least four variants from Eastern Europe: those of Greater Hungary, Greater Lithuania, Galicia, and Poland. Ĥasidic sects each has distinct customs and melodies. Among Yemenites, there are two main liturgical rites: Baladi and Shami.

If meticulous preservation of customs will lead to the breakup of the community, it is preferable to forgo the preservation of customs. In general, when a community is unified, coordinates Torah study for men, women, and children, and engages in communal acts of kindness and care, it connects all its members to Torah and mitzvot. In contrast, when a community is weak, its members lose heart, and this adversely affects the children.

Therefore, even though ideally it is best for everyone to follow ancestral custom, if doing so requires the establishment of dozens of small synagogues that can barely gather a minyan and cannot sustain Torah classes, then it is preferable for members of communities with similar customs unite to form a stronger community. For example, all people from North Africa should pray together, and if that is not sufficient, then all who pray in the Sephardic nusaĥ should pray together. ¹

It is therefore necessary that each locale weigh all the values of preserving customs against the value of a strong, solid community. When enough families from one ethnic community live in one place and can establish a large synagogue while preserving their traditions, all the better. But when the numbers are insufficient, it is best that they join similar ethnic community to form a strong congregation. If the consolidation of similar ethnic communities will not suffice to form a strong community, it is best that the members of all communities – Sephardim, Ashkenazim, and Yemenites – form a single congregation. Sometimes it is necessary to instruct the ĥazan and lead the prayers according to his ancestral nusaĥ so that each ethnic community is given space. This must be considered with appropriate gravitas, and to the local rabbi must render such decisions together with the congregation’s leaders (see Peninei Halakha: Prayer 6:9).

01. The Three Weeks

The Three Weeks, which begin on the night of Shiv’a Asar Be-Tamuz and continue through Tisha Be-Av, are a painful time. This period is often known as Bein Ha-metzarim, recalling the verse, “All her pursuers overtook her in the narrow places (bein ha-metzarim)” (Eikha 1:3). Therefore, the Sages recommended that we take extra precautions on these days, which are prone to calamity. For example, even though one must always be careful and vigilant, those who go on a hike or swim in the sea must be even more careful during this period (see Eikha Rabba 1:29).
In order to signify the nature of this period, the Sages instituted the reading of special haftarot that deal with calamity on the three Shabbatot of the Three Weeks. On the seven Shabbatot following Tisha Be-Av, we read seven haftarot of consolation (SA 428:8, based on Pesikta).
Even though the Sages did not make any special enactments to mark the suffering and mourning of the Three Weeks, the Jewish people adopted the custom to refrain from music and dancing, and to avoid reciting She-heĥeyanu during this period. ¹
There are other customs of mourning that various communities have adopted. Ashkenazim and some Sephardim, including Jews from Morocco and Djerba, refrain from cutting their hair during the Three Weeks. Other Sephardim are strict about this only during the week of Tisha Be-Av. Ashkenazim, Yemenites, and most Sephardim do not conduct weddings during the Three Weeks. Other Sephardim are more lenient, only avoiding weddings from the beginning of the month of Av (see below, section 7).
In the following sections we will discuss at length the customs of the Three Weeks, the Nine Days, and the week of Tisha Be-Av.

02. Dancing and Music

The Aĥaronim write that it is forbidden to hold dances from 17 Tamuz through 9 Av (MA 551:10). This prohibition includes playing and listening to instrumental music. Thus, one may not hold or attend dance classes, concerts, or sing-alongs during the Three Weeks. One may hold or attend an aerobics class, whose main purpose is exercise, until the beginning of Av, but one should lower the music so that it is clear that the purpose is exercise, not celebration.
A Jew who makes a living playing music may play at non-Jewish events until the end of Tamuz. Even though he plays joyous music there, it does not make him so happy, because he is preoccupied with his work. From the beginning of Av, however, he should not play music at all (BHL 551:2).
Since the reason music is prohibited is that it brings people joy, music teachers may continue giving lessons until the week of Tisha Be-Av, because neither the teacher nor the students experience joy through music lessons. In addition, canceling the lessons will cause the teacher financial loss, and the students will have to expend extra effort afterward to return to their normal learning pace, possibly even requiring extra classes. It is best to learn sad melodies during the Three Weeks (Tzitz Eliezer 16:19). If the teacher and students usually take a break from their lessons at some point in any event, it is preferable, if possible, to schedule the break for the Three Weeks.

03. Playing Music and Singing at a Se’udat Mitzva

One may sing happy songs at a se’udat mitzva, like the meal at a brit mila, pidyon ha-ben, or sheva berakhot. One may also celebrate a bar mitzva or bat mitzva during this period, but only on the actual day that the child comes of age.
The poskim disagree about a locale where people always have musicians at a se’udat mitzva: May one have them during the Three Weeks as well? Some say that one may do so, since the music is for the sake of a mitzva. Others, however, forbid this. One who wants to be lenient has an opinion to rely on, as long as this is the general practice throughout the year.
Therefore, in a locale where people always hire musicians for bar mitzva celebrations, one may do so during the Three Weeks. However, if some people hire two musicians and others hire three, it is proper to hire only two during the Three Weeks. The same is true of all mitzva celebrations: We follow the general practice of the rest of the year.
Once the month of Av arrives, one should not hire musicians for any celebration. Similarly, one should not play recordings of happy songs, and one may only sing along with songs that relate to the mitzva celebration. One may even dance a little in a circle, as many people customarily do at a brit mila celebration. ¹
Members of communities whose custom is to allow holding weddings until the end of Tamuz may hire a regular band for their weddings, because there is no celebration with a bride and groom without musical instruments. Even those whose custom is to refrain from getting married during these days may attend and dance at these weddings, as the joy they experience stems from a mitzva.

04. Listening to Music on Personal Electronic Devices

Some authorities maintain that just as one may not listen to live music during the Three Weeks, so too one may not listen to recorded music played on home electronic devices during this period. One may listen only to songs without instrumental accompaniment during the omer period and the Three Weeks. This is how some of the greatest poskim rule (Igrot Moshe YD 2:137; Yeĥaveh Da’at 6:34). Some poskim even forbid listening to non-instrumental (“a cappella”) music during these periods (Tzitz Eliezer 15:33).
However, some permit listening to music on electronic devices, reasoning that the Aĥaronim only prohibited listening to live musical performances, which entails some degree of festivity. Listening to music through electronic devices, on the other hand, is not particularly festive. Granted, when phonographs, radios, and tape recorders were first introduced, people truly experienced joy when using them to listen to music. Today, however, when everyone listens to music on electronic devices all the time, people do not experience so much joy in doing so. Thus, it is not prohibited to listen to them during the Three Weeks.
Furthermore, a distinction can be made between happy songs and regular songs. It is only fitting to prohibit happy songs during the Three Weeks, whereas regular tunes, and certainly sad ones, should not be prohibited. Similarly, the Gemara (Shabbat 151a) teaches that the custom was to play flutes at a funeral in order to arouse people to cry out in anguish over the deceased, and this was part of the mitzva of accompanying the deceased to his final resting place (levayat ha-met). This shows that there is no sweeping prohibition against hearing instrumental music. Rather, one may not listen to happy tunes during times of mourning. I heard from my father and teacher that not only may one play sad instrumental songs related to the destruction of the Temple on the radio during the Nine Days, but it is actually good to do so, because it inspires people to mourn the destruction even more. ¹ for the destruction [of the Temple].” According to this, it appears that the prohibition relates mainly to listening to joyous music, which is associated with dancing, while regular songs, and certainly sad ones, are permissible. Some people do not make any distinction between joyous songs and sad songs. These people take care, on the one hand, not to hear or play musical instruments during the Three Weeks or the omer period, but on the other hand will play joyous non-instrumental songs. They are mistaken, however, as one should be more stringent about hearing happy songs, even without instrumental accompaniment, than about hearing sad songs with instrumental accompaniment, concerning which one may rely on the lenient opinion. See R. Shmuel David’s article in Teĥumin 13. Also see above 3:10.
Even according to the more stringent opinion, one who is listening to a radio talk show that occasionally plays musical selections is not obligated to turn the radio off. However, one who takes care to turn it off when the music comes on should be commended (Hilkhot Ĥagim 25:9).
It seems that even according to the more stringent poskim, one may be lenient on Friday afternoon and Saturday night, because the sanctity and joy of Shabbat extends to these times. Indeed, we do not say Taĥanun on Friday afternoons, and we continue to wear Shabbat clothing on Motza’ei Shabbat. ]

05. The Halakha in Practice

It seems that in practice, according to the lenient view, we should divide all songs into three categories: 1) joyous songs, like those played at weddings; 2) songs that are neither especially joyous nor especially sad, which includes most contemporary music and most classical compositions; 3) sad songs, like those played or sung when mourning a death or the destruction of the Temple.
From the beginning of the Three Weeks, one should refrain from listening to the first category of music – joyous songs. Starting from the first of Av, one should refrain from listening to the middle category as well, and listen only to sad songs, the third category. It also seems to me that when one listens to loud music, even if it is a neutral song, the force of the sound makes it more festive and practically transforms it into a joyous song. Thus, one may not listen to loud music even if it is the type of music that is permitted during the Three Weeks.
Furthermore, it seems that one may not attend a concert featuring sad music (requiems) during the Three Weeks. Even though the music is mournful, concerts are festive and joyous events, as evidenced by the fact that people usually dress up for them. However, it would seem that one may play a sad tune in commemoration of Jerusalem at a cultural event, even during the Nine Days (based on Shabbat 151a).

06. Hiking, Swimming, and Hotel Vacations

Some maintain that one must refrain from hiking and swimming or bathing in the sea or a swimming pool during the Three Weeks, in order to limit our enjoyment during this mournful period. Furthermore, since these days are prone to calamity, one must avoid potentially dangerous activities.
From a halakhic standpoint, however, these activities are not prohibited. After all, the Sages only instructed us to curtail our joy from the first day of Av. They did not prohibit engaging in pleasurable and enjoyable activities before then. The only thing one should avoid is special celebrations, like parties, concerts, and dances. Therefore, one may go hiking and swimming and one may vacation in a hotel until the end of Tamuz. In addition, the concern about engaging in potentially dangerous activities is not so serious that one must be more cautious than one generally should be throughout the year. Thus, one may go hiking and engage in similar activities during the Three Weeks, while taking particular care to follow the safety precautions that apply to such activities throughout the year.
“When Av arrives, we curtail our joy” (Ta’anit 26b). Therefore, one must refrain from outings and recreational activities that are mainly designed to provide pleasure and joy. However, one may go on a trip or vacation that is designed primarily for educational or therapeutic purposes during the Nine Days. The same goes for swimming, whether in the sea or in a pool: If the purpose is leisure, it is forbidden. However, if one’s doctor instructs him to swim for health reasons, he may do so even during the Nine Days. ¹

07. Reciting She-heĥeyanu During the Three Weeks

Some of the greatest Rishonim would refrain from eating a new fruit or buying a new garment during the Three Weeks, in order to avoid reciting She-heĥeyanu. They reasoned: How can we say, “Blessed are You, Lord…Who has given us life, sustained us, and brought us to this time” during a period of such misfortune? (Sefer Ĥasidim §840). Even though some of the greatest poskim felt that one does not need to follow this stricture (Taz, Vilna Gaon), over time it became customary to be stringent and avoid reciting She-heĥeyanu during the Three Weeks. Therefore, we take care not to eat any new fruit or buy any new garment that would require one to recite She-heĥeyanu.
However, until the end of Tamuz one may purchase items that would not require one to recite She-heĥeyanu. For example, one may buy socks or undershirts, because these items of clothing are not significant enough to warrant the recitation of She-heĥeyanu. One may also purchase shoes if it is not his custom to recite She-heĥeyanu over them (SA and Rema 223:6; also see Peninei Halakha: Berakhot ch. 17 n. 4). Similarly, a couple may buy a piece of furniture, because, as partners in the purchase, they recite the berakha of Ha-tov Ve-hametiv rather than She-heĥeyanu. An individual, on the other hand, must refrain from buying furniture to avoid reciting She-heĥeyanu (SA 223:5; Peninei Halakha: Berakhot 17:3).
Until the end of Tamuz, one may also buy a fancy garment that requires alterations, to be worn after Tisha Be-Av. Since it cannot be worn at the time when it is purchased, one does not recite She-heĥeyanu at that time (MB 223:17). Furthermore, according to those who customarily recite She-heĥeyanu only when they first wear the clothing (which is the prevalent custom), one may buy a new garment during the Three Weeks, on the condition that he wears it and recites the berakha after Tisha Be-Av. Once Av begins, we minimize our business dealings, and so it is proper to avoid such a purchase even if one will not recite She-heĥeyanu at the time of purchase (see below, section 18).

08. In Which Cases May One Recite She-heĥeyanu?

One who is presented the opportunity to perform a mitzva that requires one to recite She-heĥeyanu, like a brit mila or a pidyon ha-ben, recites the berakha, because he did not determine the timing of the berakha. Rather, God granted him the opportunity to perform a mitzva that requires one to recite She-heĥeyanu during the Three Weeks (SA 551:17).
Similarly, one who sees a close friend after not seeing him for thirty days, and is happy to see him, should recite She-heĥeyanu, since if he does not recite it immediately, he loses the opportunity to recite the berakha. Likewise, one who sees his newborn daughter for the first time should recite She-heĥeyanu, since if he does not do so immediately, he loses the opportunity to recite the berakha (based on SA 225:1, MB 223:2).
According to most poskim, one may recite She-heĥeyanu on the Shabbatot of the Three Weeks. Even though some rule stringently on this issue (based on Arizal), in practice one may be lenient and recite She-heĥeyanu over a new fruit even on Shabbat Ĥazon (the Shabbat before Tisha Be-Av). Therefore, one who gets a new fruit during the week should postpone eating it until Shabbat, and then recite She-heĥeyanu over the fruit. If he cannot postpone eating it – for example, if he has no access to a refrigerator, and the fruit might spoil before Shabbat – he should eat it immediately and recite She-heĥeyanu (Rema 551:17, MB 551:98). With regard to a new article of clothing, one may likewise recite She-heĥeyanu on the Shabbatot before the first of Av. However, on Shabbat after the first of Av, one should be stringent and not wear the new garment, and thus not recite She-heĥeyanu (MB 551:98).

09. Marriage and Engagement

It is customary in most Jewish communities that no weddings are held during the Three Weeks. Technically, the prohibition applies only to an “optional” wedding, i.e., that of a man who has already fulfilled the mitzva of procreation by fathering a son and a daughter; one who has yet to fulfill this mitzva may get married even during the Nine Days. Nevertheless, it is customary not to schedule any weddings during this period, because it is an inauspicious time. Weddings should take place in times of good omens and good fortune, and this period is not one of good omen or good fortune. Some Sephardim do not hold weddings only during the Nine Days (see n. 5).
Until the first of Av, one may hold a modest, small-scale engagement party. Since such a party is a celebration of the couple’s agreement to get married, the event contains a mitzva component and is thus permitted (see above ch. 3 n. 7, regarding whether one may play music at such an event). One may not, however, hold a large-scale engagement party during the Three Weeks. During the Nine Days, when we must curtail our joy, one may not hold even a modest, small-scale party. However, the parents of the couple may meet, even during the Nine Days, in order to decide on the details of the wedding, and refreshments may be served at this meeting. Even though this, too, involves joy, it is permissible because such a meeting transforms the couple’s relationship into an accomplished fact, which brings them closer to the mitzva of marriage. It is also permissible for singles to date for the sake of marriage during the Nine Days. ¹

10. Haircuts

The Sages instituted prohibitions against cutting one’s hair and washing one’s clothes during the week of Tisha Be-Av (Ta’anit 26b). Accordingly, Shulĥan Arukh (551:3) rules that one may not cut one’s hair from the beginning of the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls, and many Sephardim follow this practice. One may not cut even children’s hair if they have reached the age of ĥinukh (education), in order to train them to mourn the destruction of the Temple. The custom, moreover, is not to cut the hair of even children who have yet to reach the age of ĥinukh, in order to express the sorrow we feel during this period (SA 551:14).
Ashkenazim and some Sephardim – including Jews from Morocco and Djerba, and those who follow Arizal’s customs – are stringent and avoid haircuts during the entirety of the Three Weeks (Rema 551:4; Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:80; Kitzur SA [Toledano] 387:8; Brit Kehuna 2:12; Jews from Tunis and Algiers customarily do not cut their hair starting from the first of Av, based on the ruling of R. Yehuda Ayash).
There is disagreement about whether these communities should be stringent about haircuts for children during the entirety of the Three Weeks or only during the week of Tisha Be-Av. In a time of need, one may be lenient until the week of Tisha Be-Av (MB 551:82).
This prohibition does not apply only to head and facial hair, but applies to body hair as well. One may, however, trim mustache hair that interferes with one’s eating (SA 551:12-13).
A woman may cut her hair if it is beginning to slip out of her head-covering due to its length. A woman may also remove facial or body hair that mars her beauty (MB 551:79, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:47). ¹
In honor of a brit mila, the father, the sandak, and the mohel may cut their hair, until the week of Tisha Be-Av (see below, section 19, regarding clothing).
It is proper for a bar mitzva boy to refrain from cutting his hair during the Three Weeks, because he can cut his hair before the seventeenth of Tamuz. However, if the boy’s father usually shaves every day, he may shave in honor of his son’s becoming a bar mitzva, until the week of Tisha Be-Av (see Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:10, Piskei Teshuvot 551:6).
One may comb one’s hair even during the week of Tisha Be-Av (MB 551:20, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:46). The Aĥaronim debate whether one may cut one’s nails during the Nine Days, although one certainly may do so in honor of Shabbat (MB 551:20, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:48).

11. Shaving One’s Beard During the Three Weeks

As we have learned, the custom among Ashkenazim and some Sephardim is to refrain from cutting one’s hair during the entirety of the Three Weeks. Regarding shaving one’s beard, however, a question arises.
According to many poskim, there is no difference between cutting one’s hair and shaving; both are forbidden throughout this period (Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:66, 493:19). This is the custom of most yeshiva students and those who observe mitzvot meticulously.
However, some maintain that it is proper, le-khatĥila, to shave every Friday in the period before the first of Av (based on MA and Pri Megadim). Others permit one to shave every day until the first of Av, since doing so does not entail any joy. According to them, the custom not to cut one’s hair applies only to haircuts, which are a somewhat happy occasion, and not to shaving, which is only the removal of unsightly facial hair and entail no joy. One who is lenient in this regard has an opinion to rely on, and others should not rebuke him. This is especially true in Israel, where Jews of all backgrounds live side by side, and most Sephardim are lenient regarding this issue. In addition, when there is an uncertainty regarding the Ashkenazic custom, one may take the Sephardic custom into account. In practice, everyone should follow his father’s custom – whether it is lenient or strict – to avoid disrespecting him.
However, starting on Rosh Ĥodesh Av, it is clear that according to both Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom one should not shave, even in honor of Shabbat Ĥazon. According to all opinions and customs, one may not cut one’s hair during the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls, nor is there any allowance to shave. ¹

12. When Av Arrives, we Curtail our Joy

The Sages state in the Mishna (Ta’anit 26b), “When Av arrives, we curtail our joy,” because this is a period of mourning over the Temple’s destruction. Therefore, one should not engage in joyous activities like hikes, hotel vacations, and social gatherings. Communities may schedule only events whose main purpose is educational or communal. In addition, one who needs to relax for health reasons may take a vacation in a hotel or a convalescent home (see above, section 6).
It is customary to refrain from arranging the warp strings (sheti) on a weaving loom during the Nine Days. The basis for this is the fact that the function of the Foundation Stone (even ha-shtiya), upon which the Holy of Holies stood and which is the foundation of the world, was abrogated. Therefore, we refrain from arranging the warp strings, which are the foundation of a garment. One also may not sew or knit new clothes or crochet a yarmulke during the Nine Days (SA 551:7-8). However, one may mend old clothes. One who makes a living sewing clothes or manufacturing material, and needs the income from the Nine Days, should ask a Torah scholar how to act.
It is best to cancel sewing lessons during the Nine Days, but if necessary, one may continue them, on condition that the students do not engage in sewing new garments. Rather, they should mend old ones or practice sewing on useless pieces of cloth.
The Sages also say that during this period, one should curtail business dealings that are joyous. It is even proper to decrease one’s involvement in all types of transactions. We also avoid joyous building projects and plantings; we will explain the details of these laws below (section 18). Since we curtail our joy during this period, it became customary to refrain from consuming meat and wine, which make one happy (as explained in sections 13-15).
Since this is a period of calamity, the Sages recommend that one who is involved in a legal dispute with a non-Jew should avoid going to court in the month of Av, because the Jewish people have bad fortune during this time and he is liable to lose the case (SA 551:1). ¹

13. Meat and Wine

The Rishonim had a custom to refrain from eating meat and drinking wine during the period of mourning over the destruction of the Temple. Some observed this stringency every weekday throughout the Three Weeks, while others did so only during the week in which Tisha Be-Av fell. Most Rishonim maintain that the proper practice is to refrain from consuming meat and wine during the Nine Days.
According to the Mishna (Ta’anit 26b), the prohibition on eating meat and drinking wine only applies to the se’uda ha-mafseket, the final meal before the fast of Tisha Be-Av begins. Nonetheless, the Rishonim adopted the stringency of refraining from consuming meat and wine during the entirety of the Nine Days, because meat and wine are known to bring joy, and the Sages said, “When Av arrives, we curtail our joy.” Furthermore, when the Holy Temple was destroyed, we ceased bringing meat offerings and pouring wine libations on the altar. Consequently, it would have been proper to abstain entirely from eating meat and drinking wine until the Temple is rebuilt, but we are unable to withstand such a decree (see BB 60b). However, during the periods that were established as times of mourning over the destruction of the Temple, there is room to be stringent.
In practice, the Ashkenazic custom to abstain from meat and wine throughout the Nine Days includes Rosh Ĥodesh Av. This was also Arizal’s practice. According to the custom of most Sephardim, however, one may eat meat and drink wine on Rosh Ĥodesh; the prohibition begins when the day ends (MB 551:58, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:125). We are stringent on the tenth of Av as well, taking care to refrain from eating meat and drinking wine then too, because the Temple continued to burn on that day. Ashkenazim abstain only until midday on the tenth of Av, while most Sephardim are stringent until the end of the day on the tenth of Av (SA and Rema 558:1, Kaf Ha-ĥayim, ad loc. 10).
The custom of Yemenite Jews is not to be stringent about this at all; they eat meat and drink wine throughout the Nine Days, only abstaining from meat and wine at the se’uda ha-mafseket, as the Mishna rules.

14. The Laws of Eating Meat and Drinking Wine

The prohibition on eating meat includes all types of meat: beef and poultry, fresh, frozen, and cured. Fish, however, is permitted.
It is customary to be particular even regarding foods that were cooked together with meat. For example, if potatoes were cooked with meat, one should not eat even the potatoes alone during the Nine Days, because the flavor of meat can be discerned in them. However, one may cook food in a pot that is usually used for meat, as long as the meat flavor in the food is not perceptible (MB 551:63, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:142).
Grape juice is included in the prohibition on wine, but alcoholic beverages like whisky and beer are permitted. One also may season a dish with wine vinegar.
If wine was added to dough, the resulting baked goods may be eaten during the Nine Days, because one cannot detect the flavor of wine in them. Le-khatĥila, however, one should not mix wine into dough during this period. ¹
One who is even slightly ill may eat meat and drink wine, if it helps him (MB 551:61). A woman who has given birth within the last thirty days may eat meat in order to regain her strength. Similarly, a nursing mother who needs meat in order to increase her milk supply may eat meat during the Nine Days.
According to the custom of Sephardim and some Ashkenazim, the person who recites havdala after Shabbat Ĥazon may drink the wine in the havdala cup; in fact, he may drink the entire cup. Despite this, it is preferable to use grape juice, which does not bring joy. According to the custom of other Ashkenazim, if there is a child present who has reached the age of ĥinukh for reciting berakhot before eating, but does not yet understand why we mourn over Jerusalem (age six to nine, approximately), the person reciting havdala has the child in mind when reciting the berakha of Ha-gafen, and the child drinks the wine. If no such child is available, however, the adult who recites havdala drinks the wine. ²
15. Meat and Wine on Shabbat Ĥazon and at a Se’udat Mitzva
We eat meat and drink wine on Shabbat Ĥazon, as we do on every other Shabbat of the year. After all, even if Tisha Be-Av itself falls out on Shabbat, causing the fast to be postponed to Sunday, one may eat meat and drink wine on that Shabbat; one may even serve a meal as lavish as that of King Solomon in his time, since there is no mourning on Shabbat (SA 552:10).
In addition, one may taste the meat dishes that one prepares in honor of Shabbat Ĥazon, to see if they need additional seasoning. This is because the purpose of this tasting is not to enjoy, but rather to prepare for the mitzva of oneg Shabbat (making Shabbat a delight).
Similarly, one may eat meat and drink wine at a se’udat mitzva, such as a meal in honor of a brit mila, a pidyon ha-ben, or a siyum. One may also eat meat and drink wine at a bar mitzva celebration, provided that it takes place on the day the boy becomes obligated in mitzvot (see above, section 3).
There are divergent customs, however, regarding the number of people one may invite to such a meal. Some say that during the Nine Days one must limit the number of people one invites to the celebrants plus an additional minyan of ten men. Others maintain that one may invite all the people whom he would have invited had the meal occurred a different time. According to Rema, during the Nine Days, until Shabbat Ĥazon, one may invite anyone he would normally invite, but during the week of Tisha Be-Av, one should invite only a minyan of men, in addition to the celebrants. In practice, the halakhic ruling in practice varies according to the circumstance and the need.
The Aĥaronim write further that one should not intentionally schedule a siyum for the Nine Days, in order to permit the consumption of meat and wine, as this is a willful abrogation of the mourning over the Temple. Rather, only one who happens to complete a unit of Torah study during the Nine Days, in the course of his regular studies, may organize a festive siyum meal, provided that he usually does so when celebrating a siyum similar to this one (MB 551:73). ³
Even one who regularly recites Birkat Ha-mazon over a cup of wine should recite it without wine during the Nine Days (Rema 551:10, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:152).
Some have a custom to make a festive meal on the night before a brit mila, but this meal is not considered a se’udat mitzva. Therefore, one may not eat meat or drink wine during such a meal when it coincides with the Nine Days.

15. Meat and Wine on Shabbat Ĥazon and at a Se’udat Mitzva

We eat meat and drink wine on Shabbat Ĥazon, as we do on every other Shabbat of the year. After all, even if Tisha Be-Av itself falls out on Shabbat, causing the fast to be postponed to Sunday, one may eat meat and drink wine on that Shabbat; one may even serve a meal as lavish as that of King Solomon in his time, since there is no mourning on Shabbat (SA 552:10).
In addition, one may taste the meat dishes that one prepares in honor of Shabbat Ĥazon, to see if they need additional seasoning. This is because the purpose of this tasting is not to enjoy, but rather to prepare for the mitzva of oneg Shabbat (making Shabbat a delight).
Similarly, one may eat meat and drink wine at a se’udat mitzva, such as a meal in honor of a brit mila, a pidyon ha-ben, or a siyum. One may also eat meat and drink wine at a bar mitzva celebration, provided that it takes place on the day the boy becomes obligated in mitzvot (see above, section 3).
There are divergent customs, however, regarding the number of people one may invite to such a meal. Some say that during the Nine Days one must limit the number of people one invites to the celebrants plus an additional minyan of ten men. Others maintain that one may invite all the people whom he would have invited had the meal occurred a different time. According to Rema, during the Nine Days, until Shabbat Ĥazon, one may invite anyone he would normally invite, but during the week of Tisha Be-Av, one should invite only a minyan of men, in addition to the celebrants. In practice, the halakhic ruling in practice varies according to the circumstance and the need.
The Aĥaronim write further that one should not intentionally schedule a siyum for the Nine Days, in order to permit the consumption of meat and wine, as this is a willful abrogation of the mourning over the Temple. Rather, only one who happens to complete a unit of Torah study during the Nine Days, in the course of his regular studies, may organize a festive siyum meal, provided that he usually does so when celebrating a siyum similar to this one (MB 551:73). ¹
Even one who regularly recites Birkat Ha-mazon over a cup of wine should recite it without wine during the Nine Days (Rema 551:10, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:152).
Some have a custom to make a festive meal on the night before a brit mila, but this meal is not considered a se’udat mitzva. Therefore, one may not eat meat or drink wine during such a meal when it coincides with the Nine Days.

16. Building and Planting During the Nine Days

Since we curtail our joy from the beginning of Av, one may not build anything that brings joy during the Nine Days. For example, one may not expand one’s house or porch unless there is a vital need for this. In addition, one may not plaster or paint the walls of one’s home, because these are considered luxuries that make one happy, and one can live without them (SA 551:2). Similarly, one may not do renovations that are designed to beautify one’s home, like replacing shutters, closets, curtains, or anything else that is valuable, brings one joy, and is not absolutely necessary. ¹
However, one who lives with his family in a cramped living space may build an additional room during the Nine Days. One may also engage in any type of construction that is designed to prevent damage. For example, if a wall is about to collapse, one may demolish it in an orderly fashion and rebuild it, even if he does not need the room where the wall is located and there is no danger involved, because this prevents damage to his property.
Likewise, one may build, plaster, or paint for the sake of a mitzva, such as building a synagogue or a school (MB 551:12, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:25). Arukh Ha-shulĥan (551:7) states that anything that is necessary for the public good is considered “for the sake of a mitzva” and is permissible.
Similarly, one may not plant anything that brings joy, like decorative trees, hedges, or flowers (SA 551:2). However, one may maintain a decorative garden, water the garden, mow the lawn, and continue regular maintenance.
Any planting that has an actual purpose is permissible. Therefore, one may plant fruit-bearing trees during the Nine Days. Similarly, one who makes a living growing decorative bushes and flowers may plant them in his nursery in order to sell them.

17. The Laws of Building during the Nine Days

A Jewish contractor and Jewish workers may continue building residential homes during the Nine Days in order to sell them, because the units are designed as living quarters and not as luxury homes. In addition, this is their livelihood. Furthermore, if they are building houses in the Land of Israel, this fulfills a mitzva. Plastering and painting, however, should be postponed until after the Nine Days, unless this will cause excessive loss.
Le-khatĥila, one who plans to build or install something superfluous in his home must stipulate with the contractor that he will refrain from working during the Nine Days. If, however, he mistakenly neglected to do so, he should ask the contractor to stop working during this period. Then, if the contractor asserts his right to continue working, there is no need to break the contract with him (MB 551:12, Kaf Ha-ĥayim 551:24).
A Jewish painter or plasterer may not work on another Jew’s home during the Nine Days. However, he may work on the home of a non-Jew. If he guaranteed that he would finish painting a Jew’s home, thinking that he could complete the job before the Nine Days, but is unable to do so in the end, he should ask the customer to exempt him from working during this period. He should even offer to pay the customer a small compensation. However, if the Jewish customer refuses to accept this, and the worker is afraid that he will sustain a great loss – like having to pay a large compensation – he may continue working during the Nine Days. ¹
Poskim generally rule that one should not occupy a new apartment, whether it is owned or rented, during the Nine Days. However, if following such a ruling will cause great financial loss, one may occupy the apartment.

18. The Laws of Business Transactions During the Nine Days

We curtail joyous business transactions during the Nine Days. That is to say, one may not buy luxury items like jewelry, clothing, fancy appliances, new furniture, or a car for personal use. Throughout the Three Weeks, one may not purchase anything that would require him to recite She-heĥeyanu. However, if it is something that does not require one to recite She-heĥeyanu, like a garment that still needs alterations or a jointly-owned piece of furniture, one may buy it until the first of Av (as explained above, section 7). During the Nine Days, however, one should refrain from purchasing things that bring joy. Therefore, one may not order a new garment from a tailor. The same applies to all items that bring one joy: If She-heĥeyanu is recited over it, one may not purchase it during the Three Weeks, but if She-heĥeyanu is not required, one must only refrain from buying it during the Nine Days.
However, if one comes across an opportunity to buy an item that brings joy at a bargain price and is afraid that he will lose this opportunity if he waits until after Tisha Be-Av, he may purchase it during the Nine Days. However, it is best to bring it home or begin using it only after Tisha Be-Av.
It is preferable to curtail even ordinary, non-joyous transactions. For example, if one usually makes a big shopping trip and stocks up on food and household items only once every few weeks, he should ideally do so before or after the Nine Days (based on SA 551:2, MB ad loc. 11, 13).
One may buy joyous items if they are needed for the sake of a mitzva. Therefore, one may purchase tefilin or Torah books during this period, because they are mitzva accessories and because one customarily does not recite She-heĥeyanu over them (Peninei Halakha: Berakhot 17:9). Be-di’avad, one who does not have canvas or rubber shoes for Tisha Be-Av may buy them during the Nine Days (Igrot Moshe, OĤ 3:80).
Merchants who deal in luxury items that bring joy, like jewelry and fancy clothing may do business during the Nine Days, in order to avoid losing their customers and thereby incurring great financial loss. However, they should try to engage mainly in preparations for transactions that will take place after the Nine Days. One who is able to close his store for the duration of the Nine Days without incurring significant financial loss should do so. ¹ – does not apply to rabbinic commandments.)
If postponing the purchase of furniture and clothing for a wedding would cause the wedding to be delayed, one may purchase these items during the Nine Days, because doing so is for the sake of the mitzva of marriage. This is allowed only if the groom has not yet fulfilled the mitzva of procreation (Rema 551:2, mb 551:14). Nowadays, however, postponing these purchases does not delay the wedding, because people book a wedding hall and send out invitations months in advance, and it is possible to buy everything before or after the Nine Days. Either way, no one would cancel a wedding on account of these purchases. Only in rare cases, when the families are under great pressure, may they buy clothing, as poskim typically permit many things in situations of great need. I have written that, in practice, one must recite She-heĥeyanu over the purchase of Torah books, which bring people great joy (Peninei Halakha: Berakhot 17:9). Nonetheless, one may buy Torah books during the Three Weeks. One should refrain from arranging these books on one’s shelves upon buying them until Shabbat, at which point one should begin learning from them and should then recite She-heĥeyanu (above, section 8). Then one should arrange the books on the shelves on Motza’ei Shabbat.]

19. The Prohibition on Laundry

The Sages prohibited laundering clothes during the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls (Ta’anit 26b). This is an expression of mourning; out of pain and identification with the deceased or with the Temple’s destruction, one ceases to take care of himself and pamper himself. Ironing and dry cleaning are included in this prohibition.
One may not even wash clothes in order to wear them after Tisha Be-Av, because one who does laundry appears as though he is taking his mind off of mourning over the Temple’s destruction. One also may not instruct a non-Jewish cleaner to wash one’s clothes for use after Tisha Be-Av (SA and Rema 551:3, MB ad loc. 34).
Just as one may not wash clothing during this period, one also may not wear freshly laundered clothing. This includes spreading fresh sheets on a bed, putting a freshly laundered tablecloth on a table, and using freshly laundered towels or cloth napkins.
Sephardim observe all the prohibitions on washing clothes as they appear in the Mishna, i.e, only during the week of Tisha Be-Av. Ashkenazim, however, are stringent regarding all of these prohibitions from the beginning of Av. In honor of Shabbat Ĥazon, however, even Ashkenazim customarily wear freshly laundered Shabbat clothes (Vilna Gaon; see MB 551:6).
Since the prohibition on wearing laundered garments lasts for several days, there is a custom to prepare a sufficient amount of “worn” clothes for this period. The procedure is as follows: before the prohibitions take effect, one must wear multiple articles of clothing in succession, each for about an hour or more. This way, the garments are no longer considered freshly laundered and thus may be worn during the prohibited period. One who did not manage to prepare clothes for himself before the prohibitions began to take effect may take a laundered garment, throw it on the floor, and even step on it. By doing so, it is no longer considered laundered and may thus be worn.
During this period, one may wear clean underwear and socks and change soiled hand towels. Since people are accustomed nowadays to changing these items frequently, changing them does not have any element of pleasure; rather, it is simply removing something repulsive. However, since it is difficult to know exactly when these items have reached the point of becoming repulsive enough to be changed, in a case of uncertainty it is preferable to place the fresh ones on the floor before wearing them. In a time of need, when one is left without any clean underwear, one may wash underwear even on behalf of adults. However, it is preferable, when possible, to add one’s children’s clothes to this load of laundry. ¹
If one’s shirt becomes stained in a way that makes him look unpresentable, and he has no other shirt to wear, he may clean the stain with water, for the sake of human dignity (kevod ha-briyot). If the stain does not come off with water alone, he may use soap. ²
One may not wear festive clothes during this period, even if they are not freshly laundered. This prohibition applies during the week of Tisha Be-Av for Sephardim and from the second day of Av for Ashkenazim. Therefore, one must remove his Shabbat clothes at the conclusion of Shabbat Ĥazon.
However, in anticipation of a brit mila, the father, mother, mohel, and sandak may bathe and wear festive clothes, and if necessary may shave and cut their hair (MB 551:3). Close relatives of the boy’s parents, such as their parents and siblings, may wear festive clothes but may not cut their hair. The other guests may wear respectable clothes but may not wear festive clothes, such as those worn on Shabbat (see Rema 551:1; Sha’arei Teshuva 551:3; MB 551:3; Halikhot Shlomo 14:9).

20. Children’s Clothing and Hospital Garb

Clothes worn by babies who regularly soil their outfits are not included in the prohibition. Likewise, one may wash sheets and blankets of young children who wet themselves at night. In addition, many people are lenient, in a time of need, with regard to washing older children’s clothes, because they soil their clothes as well, and there is no element of joy in doing laundry for them (Rema 551:14). Ashkenazim may rely on this leniency le-khatĥila until Shabbat Ĥazon (MB 551:82, based on Ĥayei Adam). Afterward, one may be lenient and wash older children’s clothing only if there is a great need, such as when all of their clothes are soiled to the point where it would be unbecoming for children to wear them. ¹
When one is washing children’s clothes in a washing machine, one may not add adults’ clothing to the load. In addition, it is preferable, if possible, to dry even children’s clothing discreetly, inside one’s home, so as not to appear as if he is not mourning.
In a hospital, one may change patients’ bedding and wash their clothes as one would do throughout the year, because the purpose of laundering these items is to maintain cleanliness and prevent infections, not for pleasure or added comfort. Guest houses and hotels may change their bed sheets for incoming guests, because people today find it disgusting to sleep on previously used bedding (Tzitz Eliezer 13:61). Ideally, a hotel guest should step on the new sheets a little before using them, so that they will no longer be considered freshly laundered. He should then ask the attendants not to change his bedding until after Tisha Be-Av. ²

21. Bathing

Even though the Sages prohibited bathing on Tisha Be-Av only, the Rishonim were stringent and would refrain from bathing on the days preceding Tisha Be-Av as well. Many Iberian Jews were stringent as well, and would refrain from washing in hot water during the week of Tisha Be-Av. The Ashkenazic custom, on the other hand, was to refrain from bathing completely during the Nine Days, even in cold water. They would only rinse in cold water in preparation for Shabbat Ĥazon (SA 551:16, MB ad loc., Kaf Ha-ĥayim ad loc. 186).
Today, however, our hygiene and bathing habits have changed completely. In the past, people did not have running water in their homes, and bathing was thus considered a special occasion and a rare pleasure. Because of this, people barely suffered when they refrained from bathing. Nowadays, though, when people shower regularly, this has become a routine practice. Many people shower daily, with soap, and would suffer if they were to go even a single day without showering. Some even have difficulty falling asleep as a result.
Therefore, one who feels pain when he refrains from washing himself may shower in lukewarm water, so that he does not take pleasure in his washing, but rather that the sole purpose of this activity should be his own cleanliness. One may even use soap in order to remove a bad odor from one’s body. And if one cannot tolerate having unclean hair, he may wash his hair with shampoo. These rules apply according to Ashkenazic custom throughout the Nine Days. According to Sephardic custom, they only apply during the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls; before then one may shower using hot water for pleasure.
Even if having foul body odor due to lack of showering does not bother a particular person, he should nonetheless shower during the Nine Days and the week of Tisha Be-Av to remove this foul odor, because of the great value of human dignity. Moreover, many people are sensitive to bad smells nowadays, and if one fails to wash himself, he will cause a desecration of God’s name.
Everyone showers in preparation for Shabbat Ĥazon. The only distinction is that Ashkenazim use lukewarm water, while Sephardim permit using hot water. Those who are accustomed to immersing in a mikveh every day may do so until the day before Tisha Be-Av, though they must make an effort to use lukewarm water rather than hot water. ¹
One may not swim for the purpose of recreation from the first of Av, because one must curtail joyous activities starting then. If the purpose is to improve one’s health, however, like those who swim daily for half an hour, it is permitted, according to Sephardic custom, until Shabbat Ĥazon. Afterward, though, it is proper to be stringent and refrain from all swimming. According to Ashkenazic custom, one may not swim even for health reasons throughout the Nine Days. One who needs to swim for therapeutic purposes may swim until the day before Tisha Be-Av (see above, section 6).

22. Shabbat Ĥazon

Shabbat Ĥazon is the Shabbat preceding Tisha Be-Av, on which we read the haftara beginning with the words “The vision of Yeshayahu (Ĥazon Yeshayahu)” (Yeshayahu 1:1-27). This haftara contains admonitions that the prophet Yeshayahu pronounced to the people of Israel before the destruction of the Temple. According to Sephardic custom, the main expressions of mourning – like the prohibitions against washing clothes and bathing – begin immediately after this Shabbat, since that is when the week of Tisha Be-Av commences. Therefore, according to the custom of most Sephardim, there are no signs of mourning on Shabbat Ĥazon. According to Ashkenazic custom, however, several customs of mourning begin on Rosh Ĥodesh Av, making Shabbat Ĥazon part of the mourning period. Therefore, many of the European ancestors of Ashkenazim had the custom not to bathe in hot water before Shabbat Ĥazon or wear fancy Shabbat clothing on that Shabbat, as Rema writes (551:1, 16). Several great Ashkenazic sages, however, disagree with this custom, because one may not exhibit signs of mourning on Shabbat. Today, the prevalent custom among Ashkenazic Jews is to shower in lukewarm water, with soap and shampoo, in anticipation of Shabbat Ĥazon, and to wear laundered Shabbat clothing. Some are more stringent and leave out, or replace, one article of clothing, in order to express their sorrow over the destruction of the Temple (MB 551:6). ¹
If a bar mitzva boy is called up to the Torah on Shabbat Ĥazon, his parents may host a kiddush in his honor, as is done on any other Shabbat throughout the year, since one should not exhibit signs of mourning on Shabbat. The same is true on the Shabbat before a wedding (Shabbat Ĥatan or aufruf), when the bridegroom is called up to the Torah: the family and friends may eat their meals together and participate in a kiddush, as is customary. Similarly, when a baby boy is born, those who have a custom to host a shalom zakhar may do so as they normally would. (The laws of Tisha Be-Av that falls out on Shabbat or Sunday will be explained below, 9:4.)

23. “The Week of Tisha Be-Av” when Tisha Be-Av is Postponed to Sunday

The laws of the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls pertain only to the Sephardic custom, which maintains that one may not cut one’s hair or wash clothes during that week, as the Mishna states (Ta’anit 26b). Ashkenazim, however, are more stringent and refrain from washing clothes from the first of Av (above, section 19). In addition, Ashkenazim and some Sephardim are stringent throughout the Three Weeks regarding haircuts (above, section 10).
A year in which Tisha Be-Av falls out on a Sunday does not have a “week in which Tisha Be-Av falls,” as the fast begins immediately after Shabbat. When the customs of mourning pertaining to the tenth of Av end, so do all the customs of mourning that pertain to the Three Weeks.
When Tisha Be-Av falls out on Shabbat, the fast is postponed to Sunday. Some say that since the ninth of Av is actually Shabbat, the entire week beforehand is considered “the week in which Tisha Be-Av falls” (Smag). Most poskim, however, maintain that since the fast is actually observed on Sunday, that year does not have a “week in which Tisha Be-Av falls” (Rosh, Ran). Most Sephardim follow this position (see SA 551:4). Therefore, they may wash clothes the entire week before Shabbat Ĥazon. However, it is proper that even Sephardim be stringent with regard to shaving in such a situation. That is, they should refrain from shaving throughout the previous week, in order to enter the fast with a recognizable sign of mourning on their faces (as explained above, n. 7). Those who are lenient have an opinion to rely on.