06. Family Participation in the Mitzva

One should try to gather the entire family for candle lighting, so that everyone can hear the berakhot, answer “amen,” and witness the lighting. Besides the fact that this glorifies the mitzva and publicizes the miracle, it is necessary for those who are not reciting the berakhot themselves, like a woman who fulfills her obligation through her husband’s lighting or children who fulfill their obligation through the lighting of the head of the household. By hearing the berakhot, they take part in thanking God for the miracles He performed. According to Rambam and Rashi, if the family members do not hear the berakhot, they must look at the candles and recite the berakha of She-asa Nisim, despite the fact that they already discharged their obligation to light the candles through the head of the household’s lighting. Rashba and Ran, however, maintain that since these family members have already fulfilled the mitzva of lighting, even though they did not hear the berakhot, they do not have to recite the berakha of She-asa Nisim upon seeing the candles. Since the matter is under dispute, one should not recite the berakha (sa 676:3). Le-khatĥila, though, one who does not light and recite the berakhot himself should hear them from someone else and answer “amen,” in order to fulfill the mitzva according to all poskim.

Therefore, one who discharges his obligation through someone else’s lighting, like a woman who fulfills her obligation through her husband’s lighting or children who fulfill their obligation through the lighting of the head of the household, must take part in a candle lighting ceremony, so that they can hear the berakhot and answer “amen.” And even if they cannot be home for the lighting, they should try to attend a lighting and hear the berakhot at a different house or at the synagogue, thereby fulfilling their obligation according to all opinions.^[5]